Cloverfield Chapel - #0728
Sister Bernadette

True Friendship
...but none of that Sissy Crap

Are you tired of those sissy friendship
poems that always sound good,
but never actually come close to reality?

Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.

You will see no cute little smiley faces
in this entry
(actually you will!)
-- just the stone cold
truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag you about it every chance I get until you're not!

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will try to use only little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the heck away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will laugh at your clumsy butt, but then help you get back to your feet.

9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask, because you are my friend and I am yours.

Friendship is like
peeing in your pants,
everyone can see it
but only you
can feel the true warmth.

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